January Newsletter - 2004
Dear Friends in Christ’s Divine Mercy:
This past month has been a busy one with a retreat in Alabama (that
some of you attended) and the ususal post-holiday activities. I have
found that the beginning of a new year is often a time of reflection
and honestly a time of fatigue for many of us. We are still in winter
and recovering from the hectic days that surround Christmas. If we are
not careful we can get into a kind of funk that lasts until about June!
One potentially good habit that we receive from the secular world
is the “new year’s resolution.” We decide that this is
the year that we will: lose weight, quit smoking, exercise, take a class,
do more volunteer work, be more patient with children, or do some other
thing that will make us better and happier people. Most of these resolutions
are not successful, but the instinct is good. Change is difficult, but
it is possible. The truth is that we can change. We have changed in the
past and we can and will change again. So much of it is up to us and as
Christians we know that by cooperating with God’s grace we can
accomplish things that on our own strength are not possible.
First, set a goal. It is such a basic thing to say, but most people
do not have goals. They have “wishes” or vague desires.
A goal is a lot stronger than a wish; a goal is real and can be measured
as reached or not reached. If you set a goal that you will quit smoking
(thank God I do not smoke), in six months we will know whether or
not
you have been successful. I would suggest that you write your goals
down and check them frequently so that you can keep your mind focused
on where
you want to go. As you achieve your goals you can set other ones.
You will not find your self on Mt. Everest by accident. If you want
to achieve
your goals you first have to set them.
While it is not wise to have too many goals in the same area at once,
e.g. quitting smoking, losing weight and stopping biting your nails
all at the same time, it is possible to set goals across boundaries.
What
I mean is that we can and should have several goals at the same time.
I always try to have spiritual, physical, intellectual, and social
goals in my mind. I may want to make sure that I am praying two rosaries
a day,
for example, and/or spending at least fifteen additional minutes
in front of the Blessed Sacrament. At the same time I can make it
my goal to exercise,
to eat moderately resulting in a weight loss or weight maintanance.
These goals are not in conflict; in fact, we often find that being
disciplined in one area of our lives can help us in other areas. What
about reading,
learning, growing intellectually? We should have goals in this sector
of our lives as well. What are you reading? Have you signed up for
a course?
Are you putting good material in your mind to reflect on? Finally,
by “social” I
mean that part of our lives that involves others and/or our own recreation,
emotional needs and relationships with others. Our “goal” in
this area may be as simple as the goal to have lunch with a different
friend once a month.
None of the above is profound. We all know what we should do, but
are we doing it? Why do some seem to live their lives with passion,
with energy,
with control while others just drift along day to day going nowhere
and getting little traction? Life is a gift. Time is one of our most
precious
possessions. Every one of us wastes a great deal of time every day
that could be used more wisely. Notice that I did not say more “productively”,
because sometimes the wisest use of our time is not “productive” at
all. It is the time we appear to be “wasting” with God or
with our loved ones. Probably the best resolution that all of us
could make would be to spend the precious gift of our time generously
and wisely.
Let me make some specific suggestions regarding goals:
-
Pray about what God wants to work on in you. People often say that “I
am working on…”; if you are serious about reaching your
goals God better be the one working on it!
-
Write your goals down. Somehow that makes them more “real.”
- Make your goals as specific as possible. Specificity makes them more
than wishes.
- Make your goals reasonable (you can set higher ones later). If you
can only jog to the end of your driveway it may be too ambitious
to set the goal of running a marathon by April!
- Don’t share your goals with negative people; they will spend
a lot of energy telling you that you cannot do it.
- Make sure goals go across all the areas of your life. God gave us many
different dimensions; He wants to help us become the person we
can be in all the dimensions, e.g. physical, spiritual.
- Success and failure are temporary results. If we succeed today we should
not get complacent because tomorrow we might make other choices.
Likewise, we must be gentle with ourselves when we fall. We need to keep getting
up and trying again.
For us who are Oblates, our goals might look something like the following:
- I will set aside prayer time each day as a priority.
- I will ask somebody to pray with me this month.
- I will go to a bookstore and pick up an encyclical or
some other reading
that I can do to further my intellectual and spiritual development.
- I will have a definite plan for doing a work of mercy and will ask
another person to join me.
- Appropriate to my physical condition I will engage in some kind of
exercise at least every other day.
- I will make plans to do something I enjoy. These activities may be
something for myself or maybe with my spouse, friends and/or
family.
So go ahead and set some goals/resolutions. With God’s help you
can change, grow and become the person you want to be.
God Bless,
Rev. Richard F. Clancy
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